Grace is back. And... apparently used to be Adam. Or is at least closely connected to him. I feel like I should have seen it earlier, but I suppose with things being so ... so... things being what they've been recently, and with me trying so hard to convince myself that Arcadia is gone and I'm what's left, I guess it makes sense that I didn't make the connections. She actually apologized to me for taking his place. I wasn't sure how to tell her that even though I consider Adam a friend and owe him (or at least his memory) a huge debt of gratitude, I'm closer to Grace already than I ever was to him. And, to be honest, I feel like he could probably still come back if he wanted to. But, she did ask me a question that I can't believe I never really thought about until now. Why didn't any of the others, especially Adam and Alastor, decide to come back? They were both so much stronger than me. How did I survive if they didn't? No. Death has never stopped either of them before. If they aren't out there somewhere waiting for me to find them (and I'm still not completely convinced they aren't), they CHOSE not to come back. There's got to be a good reason why I'm all that's left of Arcadia. I intend to find out what it is. Someday.
We continued traveling, following the footprints. Kassandra warned us that Night was coming... no, DEEP Night was coming, and we needed to get out of the valley before it caught us. I totally supported this idea. Grace took a close look at one of the tracks, and got a warning from Adam that the King in Black was on his way. All the more reason to find somewhere else to be. The footprints led us on, toward the mountains. Frac gave the engine all he could, and we raced the oncoming darkness. We almost didn't make it because of me. I was looking off in the distance, trying to make out a structure that turned out to be something like a giant anthill... but there was something non-natural about it, too... but, point being, I was looking off in the distance, and suddenly felt really sick. I wasn't able to keep it down this time, but at first I figured it was nothing more than more morning sickness. I was wrong. Metatron and Frac were having a discussion (read:argument) about the King in Black. Metatron is convinced that the King is keeping us safe. How can he not see that the King doesn't care about us? I was feeling so bad I couldn't hold my tongue. I snapped at him that he hadn't had to stand by and watch Lenore be destroyed. The next thing I knew, I was throwing up again. But, something wasn't right. Something wasn't right at all. Then I blacked out, and the next thing I new, Frac was waking me up. We were in my head again. But, this was nowhere I recognized. I felt horrible. And I'd dragged Frac into my head again. But, I hadn't turned him into Alastor yet. That was something, at least. I was just about to apologize for dragging him in and try to get us out when Grace showed up. Frac and I were both really glad to see her. As she showed up, something pulled Frac out, and he was gone. I was almost glad. Not that I wasn't really glad to see him, but I knew I wasn't in good shape, and I didn't want to hurt him lke the last few times I had freakouts like this. I leaned on Grace for support (both figuratively and literally). She told me I was special. She told me the child I'm carrying and the fact that I chose to keep it are special. She reminded me I'm not going to be the only thing from Arcadia anymore. I smiled. It didn't matter that there's still pretty much nothing I'm sure about when it comes to this child. Her words made me feel better. I leaned my head on her shoulder. And then, when I looked up, Lenore, or something that looked like her, was there.
I let Grace talk to her for a moment, and then I turned to face Lenore. I wanted to talk to her. I just didn't know what to say. Then Grace said we had to go if I was going. I told Lenore that I was sorry, and I didn't know that this is how things would go. Then I told Grace to take me home. She grabbed my hand, and then she disappeared. I was left alone, facing Lenore. How can anything change that much? She was once.... not me, exactly... more like a twin. We were connected. I had hoped we could have eventually become friends. Seeing what the King had done to her... what my choice had done to her... hurt more in some ways than watching her die in the first place. She told me that I knew this would happen. No. This isn't the decision I thought I was making. I knew we couldn't both follow the same path. And I knew Lenore wouldn't have it easy. That was inevitable. Neither path was going to be easy. What I wanted was for her to be able to make her own choices, to be able to find herself. I certainly didn't want her to be turned into... into what I saw. Cold... dark.... bound, body and soul. If I'd known, I don't think I could have decided at all. I couldn't have allowed that to happen to myself, and I certainly didn't have the right or desire to send Lenore to that fate. And if Alastor and Adam knew and didn't tell me... Damn it all... so much I need to talk to Alastor about. How do I find him on my own terms, without hurting Frac?
Lenore got closer and closer to me. She told me it wasn't so bad being like her. She said the King in Black had "opened her eyes," and that he was planning to do the same to me and my friends. She touched my face. Her touch chilled me to the bone. That was okay. She could be angry with me. I could handle that. Then her hand started moving toward my stomach. No way in hell I was letting that happen. Her problem was with me, and the child was in enough peril already. She told me my child would bring destruction to the world. I told her I didn't believe her; that my child was going to make it's own choices. She told me I was naive, and that my pride would be my downfall. Perhaps so, Lenore, but if I fall, I'll fall fighting. I've lost one world. I'm not letting my new one go if I'm still standing.
As I faced down Lenore, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned, expecting to see Grace, or Frac, or even Alastor. Instead, I saw Atravitus. He told me to stand my ground, both with Lenore and when we face the King. If he hadn't told me to do exactly what I'd been intent on doing in the first place, I'd probably have done the exact opposite of what he told me. That bastard. And, yet, despite everything, it was almost comforting to have him there, giving me advice just like he used to when life was easy. Sometimes I almost miss him. Messenger doesn't matter, my ass, Atravitus.
The next few moments are a jumble. I remember Kassandra grabbing onto me, hearing Grace and Fractal calling out to me... and then Lenore was gone. I woke up, and I was fully me. I felt better than I had since first awakening in this new world. It was refreshing to feel like myself again, finally.
But, I'd cost us time. The Night was falling fast, and if we didn't do something immediately, we weren't going to make it to cover. As we rushed on, we looked back. The daedalum were in turmoil. The fifth one was moving closer, and the other four were being drawn into it. Kassandra began to chant, trying to fix things. I knew this was bigger than she could handle on her own. I also had a feeling, from watching her before, that I might actually be able to help. I was afraid to touch her, afraid of breaking her concentration. The others said she needed image. I offered to help. Grace helped me reach Kassandra without touching her. I asked how I could help. She pointed at a chalkboard and chalk. As I started to take it up, I realized I was connected to the Akasha.... only.... bigger. It was amazing. And... I was a cat. I mean, more than just ears and eyes and nose and tail. All of me was a cat. A familiar cat... I worked as hard as I knew how. As the work drew to a close, I saw a winged, catlike female figure in front of me. She asked me if she knew me. She said she'd seen many things in the Akasha, but nothing like me. She seemed so familiar... was she... was that Alastor's Cassandra? I asked her if she wanted to come with me. She told me she still had work to do there. It's ok. I'm sure we'll meet again.
Whatever we did, it worked. The Deep Night was stalled, and the Night was moving more slowly. We traveled on, and eventually reached a settlement. Or, what used to be a settlement. It felt ancient and forgotten. Metatron and I scouted things out. We didn't discover much. The place was as abandoned as we thought it was, the Icon isn't really an Icon, and we weren't alone. Metatron's "friends" had found us. Night was still falling, and now a strange mist of viscous red light was oozing from the fifth daedalum as well. So, we took cover. Metatron called out to his friends to come take cover with us if they wanted. They did. Metatron talked to them for a while. He tried to explain what had been going on. Good luck with that. Just when I thought they were starting to get somewhere, the one Metatron called Specter walked out the door and called back that we needed to see what was going on outside...
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