Darkness, Trust, and Absolution

I feel the memories begin to fill my mind. Then I find myself engulfed by them. I watch as the history of Arcadia replays itself before me. It feels a little strange, almost invasive, to know the others are seeing it, too. It's almost as if everything that makes me me is being laid out for everyone to see. What if we see some part of me that I've forgotten that changes how the others see me?


The vision continues. We see the final fight with Atravitus and the Seraphic Core, and we see the confrontation between the four of us (Alastor, Dr. McKellen, Xevnic, and I), Persephone, Abraxis and Sophia. Then we watch as Arcadia falls for what feels like the millionth time. At least, for once, I'm only watching. There are four figures falling now... Alastor, the me from then, Adam, and Kassandra. How Adam and Kassandra got there, and where Xevnic and Dr. McKellan went is not clear. A voice is telling each of the figures that one of the group is corrupt. Adam kills himself, seeing that as the most elegant solution. His body disappears. Alastor looks at Kassandra, and tells her he didn't call her there just for it to end like this. Then I watch, as he moves his hand while still looking straight ahead, and I see jagged obsidian spikes erupt through the chest of then-me. Or do I watch as then-me, with a pained expression and tears in her eyes, kills Alastor to keep him from hurting Kassandra? In any case, when the fall has ended, Adam and Kassandra are gone, and Alastor and I lie lifeless among the rubble. I watch as Alastor awakes, and it slowly dawns on him that the corruption is in him, and is keeping him from dying. He has lost one arm in the previous fight, and the other is pinned beneath the rubble. He turns to see my body impaled through the heart by jagged metal. I hear his scream of anguish and anger as he rips off his crushed and trapped arm to free himself.


Alastor's arms regenerate, but now they look sinister, as if they're made of darkness and shadow.  With a heavy heart, I watch as Alastor picks up the shattered body that both was and was not me, and walks away. He calls out to whoever is listening that  "I'll bring her back. I’ll bring them all back.  I’ll make a world with a place for everybody." He directs his gaze over his left shoulder, and adds, more quietly, “Even you.” 




Alastor carries the body to the sea, and lets it drift away gently with the surf. I feel a tear roll down my cheek as I watch him walk away alone. The Alastor showing me these visions notices, and responds "Yes, you died." Apparently there are some things you still haven't learned, Alastor. I wasn't crying for myself. I was crying for you. I wish I could have been there, to help you build your world, to give you comfort and companionship. Thinking of you being so utterly alone for so long ties my heart in knots.




Seasons change and landscapes shift as Alastor studies and experiments and learns. He tries and tries again to find a way to bring back humanity. Nothing works. We see him sit atop a pile of failed experiments and ponder his next step.  (Alastor, atop a throne of skulls... Put it together, Delilah. He's not WORKING for the King in Black. He IS the King in Black. That... kinda changes everything.)


He rips off his corrupted arms and replaces them with mechanical ones. Using samples from the arms and samples of his own blood, he finally makes a breakthrough. A body slowly takes shape in front of him. At first, it looks like Adam, but slowly, it begins to look like everyone, one by one. He gazes at his "child" with a look somewhere between curiosity, admiration, and wonder. He raises a hand, and a glass coffin forms around the morphing figure. A coffin that looks very familiar... He begins to walk, dragging the coffin behind him. Over mountains, across deserts, over fields. Finally, Alastor stops his travels. The figure inside the coffin, too, comes to rest, and settles on a final form. Persephone. Alastor tells her not to forget him, and then she sleeps. As she dreams, the city that would become the capitol of the west grows up around her, and the first Poe appear. Alastor tells us she sleeps there still, and if she ever wakes up, the world will end.


"You built yourself a Sophia..." I hear Grace comment. Maybe... but that doesn't feel quite right. No, not Sophia... Lucifer. That's what she reminds me of. Lucifer. Asleep, and dreaming the world. The patterns always repeat.




Suddenly, the ground around us begins to shake, and we hear metal groaning. No, not this again. Dammit, Alastor, no... I don't want to do this again. But, before I even have time to object, we find ourselves in a deep pit. There is no obvious way out. And the floor of the pit is covered in bodies. Bodies that look disturbingly... like me. I can't look at them. I can't deal with that right now. I don't know what they are or what they mean, and I don't think I can take knowing at this very moment. While I'm trying my best to look anywhere but down, I notice that there is someone standing in the center of the room. When I take a closer look, I realize it's a young girl. Should I recognize her? I tap the nearest person on the shoulder. "Frac, who is that?" My question draws everyone's attention, and I hear them whisper a name. Nora. She looks at me, and I take a step forward. "Oh, you know me, Delilah. You just don't remember it." I'm suddenly overcome with a terrifying thought. I look at Nora again. "You're going to make me look down, aren't you?" She shakes her head, and I breathe a sigh of relief.


"Do you want to know what happened here?" Alastor steps out of the shadows to stand beside Nora, putting a hand on her shoulder. He looks at us one by one, and our answers are the same. Show us. The memories come back in a burst. The others... Elias, Tess, Dr. Mendoza, Quovardis, and Nora... stand in front of James. He demands a sacrifice. No one moves. After a few seconds, Nora steps forward. She's led toward James, and all but one of the others turn their eyes away. Only Quovardis forces himself to watch what happens to her. Then Elias, Tess, Dr. Mendoza, and  Quovardis are thrown into the pit. Only, it isn't the four of them, it's... us. We're trapped in the pit, wasting away, for what feels like forever.  And then the hunger comes. We remember hunger, ravening hunger, and reaching out for the only food source available. But, by then, it's already too late. Even the last-ditch effort of consuming the bodies can't save us.




And just as quickly as we found ourselves in the pit, we find ourselves back in the clock room. Alastor tells us he's going to answer one question from each of us.   I wait until last. This is partly out of petulance and frustration that out of all the questions I have, I only get an answer to one, and partly an attempt to make the one answer I will get count. I try to pay attention to what's going on, but, honestly, I'm more than a little distracted trying to decide what to ask. Should I ask what I really want to know, or should I ask something that I think will be of use to everyone? One by one, the others step forward for their turn. Metatron declines to ask a question. Grace asks about her relationship to Adam. Cassandra asks about why she ended up pulled out of her time to fall with us. Frac asks why Alastor has been in his nightmares his entire life. Each of them receives a handful of sand and an answer (even Metatron. I had a feeling that there had to be SOMETHING he wanted to know), but I don't think any of them got the whole story. Finally, I was the last one left.


"One question, Alastor?" I wait expectantly for the answer I already know is coming.


"One question." From the tone of Alastor's voice, I can tell there's no bargaining on this one. A little disappointed, I say the first thing that comes to mind.


"I missed you, too."


Alastor looks at me, and I think I detect a hint of sadness in his expression. "I'm no longer the man you once knew, Delilah..."


"I know that, Alastor. Or, at least part of me does. But part of me is still the Delilah that fell from Arcadia. And the part of me that’s still her, still loves the part of you that’s still him."


I take a deep breath. Okay, one question, then. "Lenore said you brought me back. And you said you saved us. I’ll buy both of those. But, when the others first met you, I wasn’t there. I was with a figure of light. Who was that, Alastor?"




"The Queen in White. Perhaps you’ll meet her someday. But, that’s not your question, is it?" I guess you still know me pretty well, Alastor. Fine. I take another deep breath, and ask the question that's really on my mind.


"Tell me about my child."


"Your child will live, grow, and will be important. The how will be up to you." Comforting words, and it was nice to hear it from Alastor, even as he is now, but it was nothing I didn’t already believe. Was he just telling me what I wanted to hear? Actually, I don't think it really matters. I’ll get the answers I’m looking for eventually.


At this point, we all decide we’ve learned enough. One by one, we tell Alastor, in our own way, that we’ll help him with his plan. I tell him I still trust him, and that I’ll fight to build the world we both want, for as long as we both want it. I feel a warmth as he takes my hand, and I awake back in the Cove with the others.


Well, the others minus one. Metatron is nowhere to be found. Surely he's with Celsius and Specter, right?


Grace takes a moment as we’re getting ourselves together to put a hand on my shoulder. I can see the worry in her eyes. I answer, with the most convincing smile I can manage.


I’ll be all right.


"I know you will. You're strong." Grace moves closer and embraces me. "But, at some point, you and I should talk. If you want."


Her embrace is comforting, and I realize I do want to talk. About a lot of things. So much has happened since I woke up, and I haven't really had time to deal with any of it. And, out of everyone, I think Grace might come closest to understanding. I start to say something, and feel the tears begin to well in my eyes. That's when I realize that as soon as I let myself open up, I’m going to fall apart. And I can’t afford that right now. I need to hold it back, push it away, for just a while longer. Once we get a chance to rest, I’ll let the flood come. Right now, there are things we have to do. And, so, I stand up straight and smile again, and respond to her kindness with a promise to myself.


Okay, Grace. But not now.


We discuss whether we should try to get out of the valley and trust that Metatron will get a ride out with Specter and Celsius, or if we should try to rendezvous with them back in Absolution. We decide the smartest move is to make for the cave leading out of the valley and hope the best for Metatron.




Travel of any description is going to prove difficult, however. Our sled is gone. Well, even if it hadn't disappeared in the Deep Night, that sled was shot anyway.  And we couldn't have taken it through the cave. On foot it is, then. Faster would be better, but at this point, I think we'll all just be happy to get out of this valley however we can manage.  We have a long journey ahead of us, and the first step is to leave The Cove,  with its derelict and ramshackle houses and its crude attempt at an Icon.  No sooner had we begun to walk away than we heard a voice coming from the center of town, from the direction of the "Icon."


"You're leaving the valley?"  


We turn to see dark sand pouring from the sky onto the ground in front of the "Icon." Slowly, the sand shapes itself into a form we now all recognize. The Alastor we had met earlier in the clock tower stands before us, a questioning look on his face.


"Let me show you something..." Alastor steps toward us, hand outstretched.


We see a vision of Absolution. Hoards of creatures obviously dripping with corruption are making their way toward the city gates. As the creatures get closer, we realize they're all plague victims, consumed by the disease to a much greater extent than anything we've seen so far. And, bringing up the rear was their commander, a figure we had all seen before.


"Nora..." I hear one of the others say.


"No," Alastor corrects. "Not Nora. Nora as you knew her is no more. That is simply something using her body. Call it... Vox."


The creatures begin crawling over the walls and swarming the Coven. Soldiers and townsfolk alike battle bravely, but to no avail. There are simply too many of them, and they are too powerful. Even the Megaran soldiers can do nothing to stop the invasion. The defenses fall. Vox strides triumphantly into the town as the dark army she commands destroys the Icon. No one gets out alive.


"That is what will happen if you leave now." There is an air of both finality and expectation in Alastor's voice.


I look toward the horizon, in what I think is the direction of Absolution, remembering the long days it took us to cover that ground when we had a sled. I get a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, and find myself voicing my inner misgivings. We'll never make it in time on our own.


"You're right, you won't. But I can give you the power you need, if you trust me." Again, Alastor looks at each of us in turn, awaiting an answer.




I look Alastor in the eye, and give him mine. I'll trust you. You've never let me down yet.


Alastor raises his hands, and circles of dark energy coalesce between them. The black rings float toward us, and settle around our necks. It feels cold, unsettling... like being touched by Lenore. I tense as the dark band around my neck solidifies into a spiked, black metal collar. I inhale sharply as I feel the chill deepen, and I feel the jagged edges pressing painfully against my skin. Frac utters a soft curse. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Grace tugging at the collar around her neck. Kassandra's eyes have a hint of panic in them.


"Uncomfortable, I know, but necessary. At some point, you'll be able to control the power I've given you, but not yet. Now, I want you to do something for me. Kill them all." Alastor raises a hand, and the world goes black.


The fight with Vox is not very clear. I know we were not truly ourselves, but that the creatures that we became were able to set things right. I know that we set Nora free, ending her torment forever. I know that what we did allowed the people left in Absolution to escape. And I know that I faced Beelzebub, and found a way through, thanks to Alastor.


Yes, Alastor, I trust you. I trust you because of who you were, but I think I'm beginning to come to trust who you've become, as well.


Once we regain ourselves, we regroup. We're relieved to find that Metatron was indeed here in Absolution with Celsius and Specter, and is safe. With our work done, for the moment, our thoughts turn again to leaving the valley. With no functioning Icon for miles, and most of us in pretty rough shape, speed is of the essence. For once, we have a stroke of luck. Celsius and Specter have left behind their sled. I knew it would be faster than our last sled, but I'm still surprised when, in what seems like no time at all, we find ourselves at the mouth of the mining tunnel that will lead us out of this horrible place.


The cave is, of course, cool and damp. As we follow the tunnel deeper underground, through numerous twists and turns, we all begin to feel as if we're being watched. We all turn to look, and find nothing.The darkness and stale air must be playing tricks on us. We continue on, and finally reach the opening on the other side.


We step out into the fresh air, and blink at the bright daylight. Finally, we've made it out of that accursed valley. On this side of the mountain range, the air itself seems lighter, and the daedelum seem brighter. Things might be all right after all.


The feeling of being followed has not passed, however. With some trepidation, we begin to search more diligently for the source of our uneasiness. Eventually, a beast emerges from the shadowy mouth of the cave. It is mechanical, and at one time may have been a horse. Now it's bigger, more feral looking. It moves toward Metatron, and makes a low sound, almost a growl. Metatron holds his ground, and the beast moves closer. It stops, lowers it's head, and waits. Metatron tentatively reaches a hand out, and the creature allows him to touch it. A wave of relief washes over us. It's friendly! Well, friendly enough, anyway. At least it isn't hostile. Heh. Looks like we might have transportation after all.


So, now, onward. Toward the coven of Thistle. And then possibly to Galt’s Gulch. I’m almost afraid of traveling, because it will allow me time to think. And I have so many questions, so much to think about, so many issues to deal with. And I know I'm not the only one. So, soon. I'll have a chance to have that talk with Grace soon, and I'll be able to let myself think about everything then. I hope.