You can't go home again

We gathered around the door, looking out. I heard Metatron and Specter say they saw someone moving in the distance. I felt Deep Night coming on, and sat down where I was. There was nothing else to be done. The last thing we saw before the total darkness of deep night overtook us, and the first thing we saw once it had passed, was the eerie red light falling from the fifth daedalum. After the Deep Night passed, we went outside to see if we could find the person Metatron and Specter had seen earlier. Lenore was waiting for us. She told us we had been granted an audience with the King. Oh, lucky us. She turned, we felt the earth begin to shake, and a city began to rise from the ground in front of our eyes. A familiar city.  MY city. Damn him.

Lenore led us into the resurrected Arcadia.  The paths we took were new, but it was Arcadia, all the same. And, if the King was indeed here, I knew where he'd be. City Prime. We were headed that direction, along hallways lined with mirrors. I looked. Once. Both Lenore and I had reflections that were not quite right. I couldn't put my finger on what was wrong, but I didn't look again. The others asked me to tell them of Arcadia. Where do I start? There's so much. Fractal suggested starting with the man in the tower. Atravitus.  And so, that's where I started. I told them about how Atravitus used to control Arcadia, how he ran the economy, the judicial system, all aspects of life from behind the scenes. And, sometimes, from not so far behind the scenes. And I told them how I used to be his messenger, and how I looked at him as almost a father.  I could tell from Fractal's face that I was missing something... that somehow Fractal had learned something about Atravitus while he was in my head. I told him to tell us what I was forgetting.

Frac related that Atravitus had been the last survivor from the world before Arcadia. Something had happened to him when his world had ended, and when he came through into the world that would be Arcadia, he destroyed everything there. Except for a newborn baby. Adam. From Adam, Atravitus genetically engineered the people of Arcadia. I had remembered that Arcadia was Atravitus' city, but I'd forgotten how true that was.

I continued by telling them about the end of  Arcadia. I told them how there had been two powerful beings locked in a struggle, and my friends and I , and Arcadia itself, were caught in the middle. I told them how the measures we took to stop this struggle had ended with Arcadia falling. And I reminded them that the King was not the only power on this world. I had seen another.  There was a light to match the King's darkness, and that's where I had gone when they went to the King. Metatron suggested that perhaps I shouldn’t go any farther if I wasn’t called by the King. Like hell I'd let anyone talk me into turning back.  The King brought back Arcadia. It was a scream for my attention, and I was listening. I'd have crawled on hands and  knees to City Prime just to give him a piece of my mind for having the nerve to steal my memories and throw them in my face.  That's right, Metatron. You're not going to try to stop me.

We walked farther, and finally reached a circular platform with five thin, frail bridges radiating out from it. I vaguely remembered this being the last place I'd seen Atravitus, and of something horrible that was supposed to have happened here, and didn't. The name "Iconoclast" flashed in my mind. I briefly thought of Daniel.

 Lenore said we had to travel on alone. Five of us, five bridges.  I don't know why, but at that moment, I had absolutely no hesitation. I walked forward, confidently, down the path directly in front of me. I soon felt myself being followed. Curiosity got the better of me and I turned to look. A swarm of flies massed behind me, thicker and thicker. Slowly, in the center of the swarm, a figure began to congeal. At first, it was indistinct, almost decomposed, but as the figure floated toward me, I could see it in more detail. Deep in the mass of flies was a humanoid form composed of chunks of rotting meat held together by twisted wire. I had seen that figure before. In fact, I had fought him before. The first time was at the train crash site shortly after I met Alastor, The last time we fought him was on the platform I had just left. Beelzebub. One of the Seraphic Core. Was this just another attempt to use my memories against me, or was there something more to this?  I turned around and kept moving. I had to get to the other side. If I was lucky, when I got there, he would be gone, and I wouldn't have to try to fight him alone. And if I wasn't lucky... well, better to confront him on the other side than in the middle of a rickety bridge over an almost endless chasm.  The farther I went, the louder the buzzing of the flies became.  As I kept walking, I began to hear a voice in my head. "What are you doing, Delilah?" At that moment? I was merely trying to get across the bridge. "And after that?"  Well, I'd cross that bridge when I got to it, so to speak. There was a pause. I kept moving. The buzzing continued to get louder, and now I could feel the flies buzzing around my ears and landing on the back of my neck. "Why is it so important that you get to the other side?"  Because that's what I need to do. This is what we're doing. "And do you always let others make the decisions?" Yeah, I guess I do. Well, maybe not always, but more often than I should.  "Why do you think that is?"  That question was more difficult. It took me a long time to come up with an answer. I finally responded that I think I let other people take the lead because it's just always be easier. Other people have always just seemed to know better than me. "It can often seem that way. But you have goals of your own. What do you hope to accomplish, Delilah?" I want to make the world a better place. I want to keep this world from dying like Arcadia did.  "You have to understand the world before you can change it, Delilah."  I suppose there's some truth to that. And, with that, I finally reached the other side of the bridge. As I stepped off onto the platform, the roar of the flies suddenly stopped, and I felt the cloud disperse behind me.  Heh. Guess I lucked out after all.

In front of me was a door. No doorknob. No keypad. No way to open it. I knew doors like this, though. All you need to do is think them open. I gently laid a hand on the door, and smiled as it swung open easily. I was about to walk through, when I heard footfall behind me again. I turned to look.  Lenore. I stood and stared at her for a long moment.  A million things were running through my head, but I still couldn't think of anything capable of expressing what I really felt.  So, I admitted I just didn't know what to say to her. She smiled at me, and replied, "Sometimes there aren’t words." You're right, Lenore. Sometimes there just aren't.

 "Why do you miss Arcadia so much?  It doesn't sound like a very pleasant place."  I told her it hadn't been all bad. There had been some good times  "When? When you were fighting alongside him? You know of whom I speak."  Of course I knew. And, she was right. The time I spent with Alastor certainly wasn't the safest time in my life, but it was, until now, the point in my life when I felt most alive. "Do you miss him?" Miss him? I think about him every day. Hell, I miss him so much I've inadvertently tried to turn Frac into him twice now. "Why do you miss him?" Why? He was my best friend. He was the person I trusted most in all of Arcadia. And he was the only person I've ever loved who never let me down, never turned their back on me, never disappeared.  I added an "until now," but I should have known better than to think I could fool Lenore. She knew I wasn't convinced he was gone. "And what makes you think he's disappeared?"  I agreed that maybe he hadn't. Then she leaned in close and whispered in my ear... "He's the one who brought you back, Delilah." 

You're right, Lenore. I think, deep down, I knew that all along. And it makes me happy, but it also unsettles me in a way I can't quite put my finger on. 

 "Do you trust the King in Black?" Lenore asked. I responded with an emphatic "Absolutely not." "Why?" the questioning continued.  I explained that the last time I had dealings with beings like him, their fight destroyed Arcadia. I don't want to lose another world.  "And what do you plan to do to change things?" I answered that all I could do was what I thought was right. "And how will you know what that is?" I told her that it would come to me.

"Are you sorry you made the choice you did?" I heard her ask.  No, I'm not sorry. I don't regret my decision.  I just... all I wanted was for her to have a life, to find out who she is. She smiled, and responded "I have that." I believed her. I think... yeah. I think she's okay. And I'm okay with that.  She reached out a hand, and I felt it chill my skin as I took it. I told her I wouldn't forget her. She gave me a smile that said she wouldn't forget me, either.  I turned, and walked through the door. Maybe someday, Lenore, we can meet again. As allies. Friends. It can't hurt to hope.

The door lead to a room with a set of stairs, and the stairs lead to my friends. We were on a platform much like the one where the bridges had diverged. 

 Everyone looked okay, if a little drained.  The center of the platform was an elevator, operated by a bio-sensor.  So there, Metatron. You needed me after all. I put my hand on the sensor, and the elevator began to go up, up, up. Much further, I suddenly realized,  than it went originally. This should be the elevator to the Prime. I looked up. City Prime wasn't there. I could see sky above us. If we weren't going to City Prime, then where the hell WERE we going? 

The elevator finally stopped moving, and we stepped out onto a maze of walkways overlooking a configuration of mind-bogglingly huge and complex gears. Gears made up of gears. Patterns within patterns. The paths lead to a clock, bigger than anything we'd ever seen, towering over my resurrected city, far above where City Prime should have been. At the clock was a ladder going up still further. As we climbed, we reached open sky, and realized we could see the entire valley from this vantage point. We finally reached the top, and stepped off onto a balcony that, if it wasn't the one I've been waking up on in my dreams, sure looked a lot like it.

We stood for a moment, looking around us.  Then we felt the ground begin to shake.  Slowly, the King in Black arose, and filled the view from horizon to horizon. He reached out his hand, and a black substance fell through his fingers like sand through an hourglass. I watched as the "sand" fell in front of us, and reformed into...

Alastor.

Double damn him.  I could do nothing at first but stare. Was it really him? Had time changed things so much that Alastor, the one who refused to take sides at the end of Arcadia, could be working for a god now? I heard Fractal raise his gun, and out of sheer instinct managed to tell him to put it down. I heard Grace ask if this was someone from my past. I told her I didn't think it was who it looked like, that I didn't think Alastor would align himself with the King in Black. Alastor replied that I could believe whatever I liked. I was so furious I don't remember what he said, or what I said (except that it was full of spite and venom) until Alastor offered to give us all some answers. An explanation. But, it would cost us. We would get information, but we would be... changed... in the process. We decided it was worth the risk. If the King was using Alastor’s form as a ploy, it was working. I, at least, was willing to listen. It may have been a mistake, but even if it was, I suppose it wouldn't have been the first time curiosity killed the cat.

Suddenly there were five Alastors, one standing before each of us. I watched as the Alastor before me took off his glasses. I shuddered a little when I saw that what used to be his beautiful deep blue eyes were now holes into darkness, rimmed with teeth.

And then I began to see.